Anonymous Testimony

"It was a normal Thursday morning that would soon turn into the worst day of my life. i was sleeping in because i didn't work until the afternoon. but then my mom was home. it was 8 in the morning. she was supposed to be at work. she came in my room and told me i needed to come to the living room. she told me to sit down. but i knew something was wrong. she had been crying. my brother was home from school. my dad was there. she wouldn't tell me at first. but then my brother told me that my other brother had overdosed. when i heard him say "overdose", i immediately said we had to go to the hospital. it didn't register with me that he was dead. i lost a part of my soul that day. and as the days went on, i lost more of myself. the day of the viewing, i couldn't pull myself away from him. i stood at the end of his casket and held his blanket until it was over. that was the second worst day of my life. you see my brother had always been my best friend. he had also been a heroin addict. stemming from his mothers abuse of pain pills. en she was the one who introduced him to heroin. yanno, because the pain pills just wouldn't help enough. he was still the most loving person while using. but he was different. he would steal and lie. he would go hungry. calling me every once in a while to see if i could buy him food. i remember the first time my brother admitted to me that he was using. i just picked him up from group for his addiction. i went home and immediately told my parents. i watched them stand in the front yard and cry. my mom pleading that she didn't want to have to bury her son. fast forward almost two years later and he had moved in with my mom, my brother and i. he got a job. he stopped using. he was getting better. but he started drinking. heavily. and one day he just never came back. he was three months clean of heroin when he found out he was going to have a baby. he moved in with his girlfriend. he was doing so good!!! he had a steady job. a roof over his head. a girlfriend. and he was gonna be a father!! he had always wanted to be a dad. but then one night, something changed. he decided he needed heroin. and it took his life. he didnt get the chance to be saved by narcan. he never got to know the sex of his baby. he never got to meet his son. one time, changed everything. the pain of losing my brother didn't stop after the funeral. it didn't stop after all the "firsts". yanno, the first christmas or thanksgiving since you've been gone. or your first birthday. it didn't stop after the "anniversary" of your death. it's been a year and a half and the pain still sees no end in sight. heroin addiction doesn't just destroy the addict. it destroys anyone and everything the addict was surrounded by. family. friends. everything. people ask why my brother didn't go to rehab. he had health insurance. but he couldn't afford to go to rehab. because insurance doesn't pay for it all. they ask why he didn't just stop. well it's not that easy. he was given chance after chance. always got the easy way out. but i wish he would've gotten in trouble. i wish he would've got arrested and put in jail. maybe he would still be alive. maybe he wouldn't. losing a loved one always comes with "what ifs". it also comes with a lifetime of torture wondering what you could've done differently. but nothing you could've done would have changed that. addicts need tough love. they need to be forced to change. not coddled and enabled to continue doing what they're doing. i lost my brother to addiction and it haunts me everyday. don't destroy your family for a drug that's going to kill you. get help. help others. be the change."